Struggling

I sit her today feeling tired, unmotivated, and unsettled. I'm not sure whats going on for me. I need to get in a better work out routine but can't seem to get myself going. I need someone I can depend on who can hold me accountable. I'm in love with Turbo kick and would do it everyday if it was accessible to me. I don't have the discipline to do things at home. I need to do my workouts outside of the home or I will never get them done. I know what I need to do but doing it is the demon I'm fighting. I have the eating part down for the most part. I have a membership at the YMCA that I haven't used since June. When is this inner fight gonna stop? I know what I NEED to do so why am I not being able to do it? I think I need a work out partner. I need someone who I can rely on long term. I worked out for 3 1/2 months straight at 5am for 5 days a week. So why am I were I'm at today? This is so frusterating!